More Details!

Hey Guys!

    Travel Plans to this Point - My boyfriend and I are looking at the budget-flights from D.C. to Amsterdam for this summer. We'd be spending about a week in Amsterdam then going back to my host family in Stemwede for a few weeks. We are still contemplating whether we'd be staying for a total for 3.5 weeks, or the entire summer. There's also a chance that I take a full load of school over then summer then take a normal semester off or take only one class online while I travel for a couple months. Like I said, everything is still up in the air.
     Plus, I really want to save money for traveling around the world as a whole for a year or longer. I have to save for that and possibly an ESL certificate program to allow myself the possibilty to work abroad to help fund my travels. Who knows! The planning period is pretty enjoyable; lots of time for dreaming!

    An Interesting Side Note  - I had a good friend ask me today "Was it hard catching up with your friends once you were back home?" It's a complex answer, but I'd like to try.
I came home and I felt like I was on vacation again. I got to go out to dinners, I saw a couple friends and we got to chatting. It was weird though. They would talk about people I hadn't heard about, parties I never knew happened and how great graduation was. When it was my turn to talk, though, I didn't know where to start. Do I start where I got comfortable? Do I start when I was really uncomfortable? Do I start when I knew Germany was my second home and realized I was living a life I built completely and entirely on my own? It didn't really matter because when a person can't really relate to a topic, they stop listening. It's not personal, it's just the fact that we as human beings want to relate to the topic of conversation. So I ended up feeling like the last year of my life was something everyone could easily brush off, but I couldn't let go.
Because I couldn't let go, I had a lot of trouble agreeing to go out, make new friends and reconnect with old friends. I felt like I was betraying the friends I had made in Germany. I felt like accepting my old life was also throwing away everything I had done abroad.
But there came a day during meditation, I experience one of the core beliefs of Buddhism. Suffering is caused by attachment. Because I was so attached to this year abroad, I couldn't enjoy the life I had right in front of me. Just becuase I enjoy the 'now' doesn't mean the past has no value or is forgotten. The year changed who I am , how I function and how I see the world. Those changes live with me forever and I will continue to have life changing experiences. I have to accept the fact that I cannot hold on to each and every one of them as I wish I could. And I'm getting to the point where I know this, practice this and let me tell you, I am so happy and I am so appreciative for everything I have done and will continue to do.
So all-in-all, it was hard at first, but once I realized that moving forward does not mean forgetting the past. I also realized that I will always be making new friends and THAT doesn't mean forgetting and shutting out the old ones, because at the end of the day, they're always there for you.
I hope this answers the question, but if not, I can try again!

ALSO: I went to a Hindu temple recently with my boyfriend and his mom for a World Religions course. The BAPS temple in Lilburn is absolutely gorgeous! The people were so nice and helpful. I went right after the Diwali celebrations and the colors were outstanding.

Until next time,
Katy
 

 

I'm Back!

Hey Guys!

    I'm finally at a point where I can keep up with my blog again! 

    The re-entry process has been a really long, difficult, but rewarding one for me. During the first couple of weeks, it was like being on vacation again. I went out to dinner with friends, went to new parks in my home town, and didn't have anything to really worry about. The charm quickly wore off, though. I found myself really out of place. I wasn't included in jokes, I was often left out of plans, and after a while, no one really wanted to hear my stories. The life I made for myself was irrelevant and uninteresting.

    I found myself wanting to be alone to my thoughts, memories of everything that happened, and my plans for how to get back. My re-entry process and reverse culture shock were much worse than I ever could have imagined. I was really depressed. I really didn't want anything to do with my life here.

      Then, something hit me. I have one life to live; everything that happens in this life has influenced me as a person. So, instead of mourning the passing of one chapter, why not celebrate it, appreciate it, see how it has shaped me and start the next? I mean, it is just as important than the last. Enjoy the present, appreciate the past and look forward to the future.

    This inspired me to step out of my comfort zone, do what I've dreamed of, and not worry necessarily worry about what's expected of me. I changed my major to Cultural Anthropology and I got the tattoos I had been dreaming about for years. I'm planning my travels, learning languages and simply being nice, even when it's hard. I've been spending more time focusing on my spirituality; I meditate and I pray. I'm becoming aware of who I am and what I want, and I can say  it's because I enjoyed putting everything on hold,  building a new life form scratch, then losing it and struggling to start over once again.

    Everyone needs time to find themselves, however they want to do it. But I can say, removing yourself from your previous obligations and everyday expectations, you learn so much and it changes you, and it is not easy by any means.

SO with this post, I would like to begin and share my new chapter with you.  I'm in school and my goal is to become ESL certified and travel the world, learn languages, meet people and find myself. I want to live happy and healthy and appreciative for everything this world has to offer. I'm happy now.